Bruce Roberts' First Day on the Job
As luck would have it, just this past week, my mad scientist, grossly talented, computer guru buddy, NAME REDACTED, , found a way to hack into the "Super - Top Secret - Never Before Detected - City Hall Gretsas Cam!"
Yep, it's the dreaded and feared G.G.SPYCAM that has been whispered about City Hall for years; ...."Gretsas has us bugged", ....."Watch what you say", ...."Where are those friggin cameras?" are the common refrains.
And just in time for the new Commission, we hacked in successfully, and thought we'd listen in to the very start of new District I Commissioner Bruce Roberts' term.
Here's the audio account:
Day 1 - Roberts walks in his Commission office for the first time. Secretary follows him in.
Secretary - " hello Chief ... er, uh, ...Commissioner...er, uh ...Bruce , er uh
Roberts - " Commissioner will do" , "just don't slip and call me Teel, or your you-know-what will be you-know-what! .... ha ha ha ha ah ha ha ah ha !
(Roberts seems in high spirits)
Secretary - " Yes sir, Commissioner, you can count on me sir ".
( Interrupted by ringing phone .....
Secretary - "OMG, it's the Gretsas HotLine!
Roberts - "I'll take it, and maybe you ought to give me some privacy!"
(Secretary leaves quickly)
Roberts - "hello, brand new City Commissioner Bruce Roberts speaking"
Gretsas - "well er uh, hello Chief, er uh, Commissioner, er uh, SIR"
Roberts - ... click
Gretsas - "Commissioner, Sir, ..... *#!%, he hung up !"
(Gretsas hits redial)
Roberts - "you were my boss, now I'm your boss, Commissioner Bruce Roberts speaking!"
Gretsas - "yes sir, is everything to your liking? , SIR! - did you enjoy the little breakfast muffins made into the little Police Cars?" ... "And I noticed your car was a bit dirty, and I have Hebert down there scrubbing away!"
Roberts - " get that little peep squeak away from my wheels!...And NOW! .... and by the way, you have 24 hours to repaint this office. It's Pink, for God Sakes !! And it smells like woman's perfume!...... Are you trying to test me already Georgy?"
Gretsas - " uh, no sir, er, new paint - first thing - and the smell, I'll take care of it personally!"
(Roberts hangs up and fall into his chair chuckling.... rings secretary)
Roberts - " Secretary, get me Lt. Bellsy on the phone, and tell him to get over here tout suite with his bug detector equipment...... Somebody told me these offices are bugged!"
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Yep, it's the dreaded and feared G.G.SPYCAM that has been whispered about City Hall for years; ...."Gretsas has us bugged", ....."Watch what you say", ...."Where are those friggin cameras?" are the common refrains.And just in time for the new Commission, we hacked in successfully, and thought we'd listen in to the very start of new District I Commissioner Bruce Roberts' term.
Here's the audio account:
Day 1 - Roberts walks in his Commission office for the first time. Secretary follows him in.Secretary - " hello Chief ... er, uh, ...Commissioner...er, uh ...Bruce , er uh
Roberts - " Commissioner will do" , "just don't slip and call me Teel, or your you-know-what will be you-know-what! .... ha ha ha ha ah ha ha ah ha !
(Roberts seems in high spirits)
Secretary - " Yes sir, Commissioner, you can count on me sir ".
( Interrupted by ringing phone .....
Secretary - "OMG, it's the Gretsas HotLine! Roberts - "I'll take it, and maybe you ought to give me some privacy!"
(Secretary leaves quickly)
Roberts - "hello, brand new City Commissioner Bruce Roberts speaking"
Gretsas - "well er uh, hello Chief, er uh, Commissioner, er uh, SIR"Roberts - ... click
Gretsas - "Commissioner, Sir, ..... *#!%, he hung up !"
(Gretsas hits redial)
Roberts - "you were my boss, now I'm your boss, Commissioner Bruce Roberts speaking!"
Gretsas - "yes sir, is everything to your liking? , SIR! - did you enjoy the little breakfast muffins made into the little Police Cars?" ... "And I noticed your car was a bit dirty, and I have Hebert down there scrubbing away!"
Roberts - " get that little peep squeak away from my wheels!...And NOW! .... and by the way, you have 24 hours to repaint this office. It's Pink, for God Sakes !! And it smells like woman's perfume!...... Are you trying to test me already Georgy?"
Gretsas - " uh, no sir, er, new paint - first thing - and the smell, I'll take care of it personally!"
(Roberts hangs up and fall into his chair chuckling.... rings secretary)
Roberts - " Secretary, get me Lt. Bellsy on the phone, and tell him to get over here tout suite with his bug detector equipment...... Somebody told me these offices are bugged!"
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Really Tim??? I expected more from you. Give the man a chance, he hasn't even been sworn in yet....
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Dan .......please have your funny bone checked ! ....thanks, .... Tim
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I agree with Dan, I don't see the humor, especially when it is at the expense of another. Further I don't like the bigotry used in back handed humor directed at gay people, referring to the PINK room and the smell of woman's perfume. That's NOT what I call a VISION for our city. Shame on you Tim!
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JRT.......... Roberts office is PINK because a GIRL (Teel) had it before him !! It has nothing to do with GAY .... OMG !...Tim
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Gretsas will be fired because he has EARNED firing, not because he is a jerk, or because he offended the Chief, or other Commissioners.
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Isn't it a wonderful world we live in?
Funny stuff Tim!
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LMAO!
Hopefully though, Commissioner Roberts won't be so easy on the scum bag (George)
Better days are ahead.
Get the f*ing idiot out of our city Bruce.
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I am with You !!!
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I'm with Mayor Sieler on this one. Love him or hate him, Gretsas has done a pretty good job for our city. He needs to be brought under control but just "throwing him out" is not the answer.
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Jack Seiler joins Sam Web as strongly supporting Obama's policies.
For those who don't know Sam Web, he is the chairman of the Communist Party Of The United States, and he is pleased that the President is supporting the agenda of the CPUSA.
Obama is not black, but he is African-American. He is also the first Communist elected to the Presidency. Fort Lauderdale has a new mayor that supports the policies of the CPUSA. Folks, if you thought Naugle was an idiot, wait unti Seiler starts making statements.
If you thought Trantalis was lazy, wait until Seiler discovers that being Mayor is a 60+ hour a week job.
http://www.cpusa.org/article/articleview/1015/1/27/
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I must say your sense of humor is on the wry side....however this does highlight many of the jokes when you enter city hall about the cameras watching the microphones listening and the other "spy" stuff that has been installed during the last few years.
While I know Bruce to be a fairly reserved guy - this must have brought a smile to him or a chuckle after such a long hard campaign.
Glad you can sill inject some humor in the often disappointing actions of our city government....I think we are really going to see some change!
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LOL!!! My funny bone certainly doesn't need checking. This is hilarious. You made lemonade out of lemons (city politics). I think we all needed some refreshment at this point. Thanks for providing it!
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The Mayor and City Commission need to heed Senator Charles Grassley's comments about the AIG bonuses when they turn their attention to the BLOATED salaries of Harry Stewart and George Gretsas.
To paraphrase Grassley, Stewart and Gretsas should:
1. apologize for their greed, and,
2. fall on their sword and commit suicide.
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Perhaps we should set up a fire pit, so we can roast him to the masses on the way out. Don't call the police we won't help him.
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Tim, You should run a blog thread on "Position Available," and begin collecting resumes for City Manager.
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